Breastfeeding in public

I usually do not go into anything political or force too many of my opinions (too much that is) because I know everybody has one and each is unique and valued by that person. That said, I feel like I have to comment about some happenings that have occurred in our area lately and how appalled I am by them.

This is world breastfeeding month and Kentucky the lowest initiated rate of breastfeeding in the nation. I did not know the rates were that low but I always did notice there were not too many mothers who nursed. Even if they started nursing, they rarely continued past a few weeks at best. I thought maybe some reasons might be busy work schedules that did not allow time to quickly and sanitarily pump, lack of good breastfeeding support and instruction, a sick or premature baby or just lack of education about the benefits that breastfeeding gives infants.

Recently, two different mothers in neighboring communities were asked to leave restaurants because they were breastfeeding and it offended one or more of the other customers.

These were just two that made the news in recent months. The second was after an ordinance was passed that stated in so many words that breastfeeding mothers have the right to do so in public places without being harassed. There was not a penalty attached to the ordinance. I wonder how many other mothers have been made to feel like a freak because they were nursing and asked to leave. The police asked her to leave because the nursing was not occurring at the time and all they saw was a confrontation so she had to leave. Not very good in the police investigation department.

I have just been infuriated by this. Most probably because it hit so close to home with me. I was a nursing mother of three sons, my mother nursed and her mother before her nursed and so on. I had an excellent system of support and was encouraged and reassured about what a great job I was doing feeding my sons. A new nursing mother has so many questions and worries about how much milk her baby is consuming. Is it enough? How will I know? etc. etc. They were there for me and I was made to feel successful and good about what I was doing.

As a result of this support system, I was able to be proficient enough at nursing to donate breast milk to the neonatal unit at a local hospital. This enabled premature and very sick infants to have the benefit of breast milk that my children had.

I can't count or name all of the hot, gross places I have had to stand and nurse my babies for lack of a comfortable place. I was just glad all of the times that I was not having to worry about refrigeration and heat contributing to milk spoilage or being caught out and having no formula.

I had just hoped in my heart that these incidences were brought on by people who just were grumpy, prudish and/or ignorant.

In a discussion about this issue with someone who is educated and young, it came to the surface that she would rather not be sitting in a restaurant with a nursing mother either. She did not want to hear it (the sounds of a suckling baby) and that nursing was a personal and private act. I don't know where that quiet place might be void of loud music, where the sound could even be heard. It was also stated that the trip or event should have been planned better and feeding should have been done before the trip to the restaurant. This person is not a parent , but nevertheless I was dumbfounded!

I love the person who has this opinion so dearly and was just saddened and devastated that an act so pure and so natural could be viewed as obscene and forbidden. How? The sounds that a baby makes when nursing are some of the best sounds in the world whether they are suckling a breast or a plastic nipple. It all sounds the same and most breastfeeding women I have seen are very discreet and QUICK on the draw!

Mother's of newborns are so very emotionally vulnerable about their body changes that the last thing most would want is to be viewed as trying to be an exhibitionist. I was not always completely confident that as I nursed (God forbid) that my baby's head would pull away or turn to expose my breast for a fleeting second. I always had a cloth diaper for just that moment. What I did feel confident about was my moral, honest intentions and that not anyone with a bone of decency would ever condemn me for nurturing and feeding my baby the way my body was made to do.

In the age in which we live, it is socially acceptable to sexually degrade women in action, song, movies and photographs. Men do it to us and worse, we do it to ourselves.

Mom, as I have been pondering this, I keep coming back to you and how very much I appreciate you for so many reasons. I know that you are responsible for teaching me to be open minded and to accept people for who they are. You took us to many different churches to see a variety of worship settings which went a long way towards fostering empathy, respect and compassion towards others. It is just truly hard to walk the walk when something like this happens. I can accept that they have the right to their opinions but I can't help but to think it is my quest to stand up for the rights of those too small, weak or vulnerable emotionally to do it for themselves.