Saturday Reflections on Motherhood

I was only meant to blog by reporting events and posting pictures. I am not good at giving life altering and deep meaning quotes but I do so love to read them. I admire people who can put their thoughts and words on paper so easily and lay them out there for others to make the connections to their own lives. I am not usually that girl. My poet's soul is cloaked and my artist's palette sealed. How to release it now without appearing to be trying too hard to create something? My small attempts at release have not seemingly been noticed even in the small things I do in my surroundings. I do it for me mostly, but must admit I wanted so for my sons to have a sense of the romantic and appreciation of all that was classic and timeless. I think I got so caught up in what had to be done day to day and minute by minute that I did not do enough to see they understood and appreciated the ethereal and aesthetic aspects behind what the "work" held. I have never been good at verbally laying out what I was feeling until I was upset about something and could take no more. I just thought in my woman's/mama's mind that they should "get me" and notice without saying. For that guys, I apologize. I do see so much creativity in each of you in vastly different areas.

Gabriel, my first born, your vision helps you to see so clearly and immediately how to make things work more smoothly and become operational without so much effort. You are always looking for ways to improve upon what is already in place. Your frustration is similar to mine in that you can't understand why others can't see it and act upon it without an explanation from you. Your creativity is like a well oiled machine, lasting a lifetime with love and care. You will always be verbal with your beliefs. As always, blowing your horn like the day you were born. (Rage against the machine!) This confidence and gift will pay off for you especially as you mature and hone your ability to teach others how to make the changes necessary to better the systems in their lives. You are just beginning to tap into resources that will recognize and allow you to share your vision with others. After all, the quicker they can get with the program, the more time they will have for the fun things in life!

Vincent, your gift comes naturally, and is embedded in your emotions. You are tied to the people you love through the wisdom and compassion of God. You have the ability to reach and help people both through humor and kindess. You are good at diffusing tempers and strife by your simple presence and nature. You too, can become frustrated like I do, when people around you don't take the necessary measures to protect themselves and each other from the destruction of all that is around them. Your creative nature slips out easily to those around you without much effort. My hope for you is that you will always be able to be strong for yourself as well and not just take the "ugly" from people without making them see and be accountable for their actions. Your nature is also very similar to how you were born. Here in an hour and wanting close physical contact to be the happiest!

Travis, you have always been a quiet and astute observer, absorbing and taking in what you need in order to turn around and perform the task at hand with expertise. Your outward appearance comes off to most that you are not emotionally attached. This could not be further from the truth. You just have strong convictions and your attachments are not given freely without thought. None the less, the attachments you make run deep. Your ability to put into words through song what you are feeling is the expressive outlet you channel and use. What cannot happen through easy conversation surfaces through the music/poetry that is inside you. I admire the strength you have shown as you make yourself begin to expose this gift to others. It is not easy for you to lay yourself out there, vulnerable. This talent, as with everything about you, will be shared as you are ready to do so, not when we think it should happen. Again, my third son, your birth is very similar to your personality. You will do things in your own time frame as you are ready. Twelve hours, us ready, my body ready, but you refusing to be born because you were safe and comfortable where you were!

My children, I adore you and want you to know that I love you and that at your very core there is a little piece of "mama" protecting and encouraging you to experience all that is beautiful in life. Then after the experience, share and spread the knowledge and joy to others. Don't tuck it quietly away. Peace be with you this day and always.